Are you selfish?
Now really ask yourself – are you selfish?
Typically, the answer is, “no.” In fact, we all believe we are the complete opposite of selfish!
Well, before you become too impressed with yourself, let’s get on the same page about what selfish means.
Settle in young padawan; you’re going to like this one!
Alright, so what the hell do I mean when I use the term selfish?
Well, when I use the word “selfish”, I am using it in a very positive light. See, being selfish means that you care only and ever about your happiness – yeah, that’s right, I said it! YOUR happiness!
So wouldn’t that technically be a “bad” thing??
Well, technically, yes. But also, technically, no.
Are you confused yet!? LOL
Let’s start with this – YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE, BUT YOURSELF.
One more time?
You cannot change anyone, but yourself.
Read that a few times, please.
Still, don’t believe me?? Reflect for a moment; think back on all of your past relationships, friendships, family relationships, etc. Now think about all of the things you wish they could change about themselves. Did you try to help them? Did you try to change for them? Did you try to point out all the areas where they messed up or could be different so they could make the change?
Now – how did that go? Were they able to change? Or better yet, were you able to change them?
We all want to be everyone else’s savior; being the one who could change them!
Where the fuck did we get this idea from!?
Wherever we adopted it from, its flipping nuts! To believe that we are so powerful that we can actually affect change on another human is utterly insane!
We have a hard enough time changing ourselves, what in the world makes us think we can do this for someone else!?
See now!? You cannot change anyone, but yourself.
If I can’t change you and you can’t change me, then why are we depending on each other for our own happiness??
If I am unhappy, and I am expecting my partner or friends or family to “fix” me and “change” me, then I am being extremely selfish in the most unproductive way! We can’t make each other happy because we can’t control each others lives!
You want to be happy? You want to change your life?
Then YOU have to do it! YOU have to be selfish in the most productive way!
You take the blame off of everyone around you, you place it on yourself, and now you have something to work on! Now there is space to learn, grow, and transform.
Wanna know the other cool part?
Once I take all of this unrealistic responsibility off of my partner, friends, and family, they then have more space in their world to take care of themselves!! That’s one less thing for me to concern myself with and one less thing for them to worry about!
Talk about a win win win win, huh?
So what’s the moral of the story? BE SELFISH! Worry only and every about yourself! If there is ever anyone to blame for your unhappiness or your life not panning out the way you’d hoped, its YOU!
Make yourself happy first! Make yourself proud first! Fall in love with yourself first!!
Now go take all this power and find some fucking joy, alright?! 😉